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Shares of H.H. Haggerty fell dramatically in overseas trading last night, following news that one of its key employees me would be out sick today and possibly tomorrow unless I m feeling a lot better by then.

Haggerty announced Monday that I would be taking this short-term leave of absence so I can focus on my health. I ve appeared gaunt at several recent company events, and had taken extended medical absences twice in the recent past. In 2007, I was out for three days straight with what I claimed was a little stomach virus, or maybe a bit of food poisoning, and in early 2010, I stubbed my toe really bad after tripping over my cat and missed two days.

I love Haggerty so much and hope to be back as soon as I can, I told the third-shift supervisor who answered the phone when I called in. I ll use a vacation day for today but if I m out tomorrow, I ll probably take it without pay.

Few details were released by Haggerty about my health, fueling speculation in stock markets that I might even be out the rest of the week. Share prices of company stock in both Asian and European markets tumbled as much as 20% with the news that a mid-level employee such as myself would be absent from the office.

He may be the most vital assistant manager for customer service of our era, said Michael Useem, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania s Wharton School and director of its Center for Leadership and Change Management.

Haggerty said in a press release that Timothy D. Martin, a temp working on a 12-week contract who takes care of filing and emptying the recycling bins, would be answering my phone while I m out and occasionally checking my email, giving me a call at home if he had any questions.

I have great confidence that Tim will do a terrific job executing the exciting plans I had in place for Tuesday and possibly Wednesday, I wrote in a letter released to the press. I just have to remember to change my email password when I get back, because I m not sure I trust that guy. He has a tattoo, and I may have seen a hole in his tongue that might represent a piercing.

In other business news, Steve Jobs, the co-founder and chief executive at Apple, is also taking a leave of absence, a year and a half after his return from a liver transplant. The announcement raised questions about both his long-term prognosis and the future of the world s most valuable technology company.

Omigod, omigod, omigod! said Toni Sacconaghi, an analyst with Sanford C. Bernstein Company. Will my iPad still work? What about my iPhone is it going to malfunction and send streams of deadly radiation into my skull? And how about those music downloads I did last night? Am I still going to be able to listen to Britney s new song Hold It Against Me ?

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